Name: Lizzy and Jabu Mgobongwana
Married since: December 2011
Pet Names: Baby
Scripture foundation: Proverbs 18vs22
How did you meet?
We grew up in the same township in Tembisa, we were neighbors
Was it love at first sight?
No it wasn’t
What attracted you to each other?
She was respectful and kind
He was very responsible
Why did you get married?
Besides the fact that we love each other, we were determined to build a life together and we both wanted the same things in terms of life and family
How did he propose?
He didn’t propose, one day as we were out on a movie date and we went past Sterns, i showed him the ring i liked and he bought it and said he would marry me with it and he did.
How has marriage changed you?
Lizzy – it didn’t change me much, it just protected me from the things of the world
Jabu – it didn’t really change me except that im more determined to build a comfortable life for my family
What has marriage taught you?
Patience, sacrifice, selflessness
What do you love most about being married?
Companionship. Having someone to rely on and be intimate with.
What are some of the challenges you’ve faced in your marriage and how did you overcome them?
When my husband was retrenched from work we faced a financial crisis however we adjusted our lifestyle and trusted in God to see us through and he did.
What do you mostly fight about?
Channels of communication and shouting at each other in front of kids, we are both learning to stop doing that.
What irritates you about each other?
She sometimes does not consider my feelings before she talks
He takes things too personal and takes long before resolving matters
How do you keep love alive?
We actually need to go out more often, if I dont initiate it, he doesn’t
What do you do for fun together?
We go to couples meetings, do house chores together and when i do suggest it once in a while we do movies
What do you think marriage is?
It is an institution that God created for man and woman to become one and enjoy the blessings of companionship
What do you think makes a marriage work?
God, communication, respect and keeping private matters private
What makes a marriage work?
What makes it fail?
Lack of communication, high expectations, getting married for wrong reasons and relying on third parties to resolve your marital issues
What do you think is the reason for people to not believe in the institution of marriage?
Fear of the unknown and those who are already married projecting their failures and disappointments to those who are not married
Do you think pre-marital counselling is important and why?
Yes because it prepares you for the future
Why do you think there is such a high rate of divorce?
People have unrealistic expectations of marriage and some do not want to compromise, they allow stubbornness to get the better of them
What measures can be take to break the rate of divorce?
Be honest with yourself and your partner, trust in the Lord, learn to communicate better and respect each other.
What do you think are the roles of husbands and wives in marriage?
Both husbands and wives should enter into marriage with the mindset to help each other but ultimately the guide is on Ephesians 5.
Would you advice people to do prenup, in community of property or out of community of property and why?
In community of property because what God joined together should not be separated.
What do you think is the significance of lobola?
It is a symbol of appreciation and bringing 2 families together.
What advice do you have for people intending to get married?
Lizzy – If you don’t love yourself don’t get married, because you can’t give what you do not have.
Jabu – Find a person that understands you because marriage is tough.