Marriage Mondays

#MarriageMondays – Kabelo & Mmaphokwane Makhaya

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Names: Kabelo and Mmaphokwane Makhaya.
Married since: 2015 April.
Pet names: Lifie, Munge, Mabebeza, Sthandwa, MA love.
Kids: 2 daughters
Scripture foundation: Isaiah 54:17 and Jeremiah 17:7-8

How did you meet?

We met through my sister in law. I went to tertiary with her. She liked me and adopted me as her little sister. At times when she went home for weekends I would go with her. That’s when I met my Kabaza. But then I saw him as my brother, yet little did I know he was seeing a potential lover 💏. That was in 2007. After tertiary I lost contact with my adopter sister. 2011 we were in contact again. She and i had a daily routine that whoever knocked off first from work would cook and the other would pass by the other’s place for dinner. Then mabebeza was on leave for the month of February 2012. He came to Pretoria for the leave period. When I got to my adopter sister’s apartment, this hunk opens the door. He was different from the past years 😍😍😍😍

Was it love at first sight?

No just attraction

What attracted you to each other?

I was attracted by his handsomeness😅. What made me agree to be his lover was his Humility, calmness, cooking, neatness, cleanliness, sweetness and how he went all the way to show how much he loved and adored me. (That hasn’t changed even today)
My physique off course attracted him 😂😂😂 gape nna ke chesa di pipes (im hot) 🔥. My character, he says I’m a go getter and that I know what I want in life, my kindness and that i don’t look down on others. Did I mention my hottness🤔.

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Why did you get married?

We were ready to spend everyday in each other’s space, to be in his and him mine, to share what we have with each other and legalize the sharing, to change my surname to his.

How did he propose?

We were in a long distance relationship since 2012. He lived in Dikweipi, North West and I lived in Pretoria. We would see each other on weekends. 2014, we went to the mall for groceries shopping, he asked that we pass at American Swiss to check a watch. When he was checking watches I obviously went to the rings, he then asked which one I liked I showed him he asked that I fit it. I did and it was the right size, he said to the sales lady “im going to the ATM il be back now, give my wife that ring” and that was it.

How has marriage changed you?

I became more considerate and patient. I don’t spend time with anyone else but my hubby, everywhere I go I want him to be there even my friend’s baby showers, bridal showers, birthday celebrations. And now everyone is used to that, now they also bring their own partners and its now a habit. I not only do things for myself but for hubby as well.

What has marriage taught you?

Two is muchhhhh better than One.

What do you love most about being married?

The man I am married to. I have someone to share ANYTHING & EVERYTHING with, he supports me all the way, and is my confidant. He gives me more thumbs up than thumbs down. And I enjoy our love making and intimacy.

What are some of the challenges you’ve faced in marriage and how did you overcome them?

Insecurities, assuring each other. Car being repossessed, we had to get a financial advisor to help us go back to our financial drawing board. Hubby wanting us to make love often was a challenge for me at first, we had to address a man’s and woman’s needs and how both were created.

What do you mostly fight about?

Letting go of bad habits, this is still work in progress though. We also sometimes fight about methods of communication, there’s barriers that we are still working on overcoming and one other challenge is understanding the inlaws and them understanding me, we are working on it though.

What irritates you about each other?

I get irritated when he just stops talking to me and bottles things up.
He gets irritated when I raise my voice and when I postpone our love making to a later hour.

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How do you keep love alive?

We sometimes put our mattress in the TV room and chill there the entire time. We travel as much as we can to celebrate our birthdays, siblings birthdays and parents birthdays and that gives us an opportunity to make love in different places.

What do you do for fun together?

We walk around naked when its just the 2 of us in the house, we cook and clean together, we play with the baby’s toys, meet up with other couples.

What do you think is the reason for people to not believe in the institution of marriage?

The high rate of divorce, cheating partners, the thought of being someone’s possession, submitting to oppression, not getting the love you give and so on, the list is endless.

What advice do you have for people intending to get married?

Marriage is what you and your partner make of it. Don’t compare each other to other people.
Love like you’ve never been hurt, love like you’d want to be loved.
Allow the other person to be themselves, no matter how childish or matured they might seem.
Communicate what doesn’t sit well with you, no matter how silly or heavy it might be.
Spend more time with each other more than with anyone else, that way you become friends for life, whether it’s at weddings, funerals, parties, social clubs, malls, family gatherings, watching his favourite TV programs, you name it.
Compliment each other often, even if it’s every month after he gets his hair cut, even if it’s the same hair cut.
Listen to each other, don’t be quick to answer before you really listen to what she or he says. When one shows you the wrong you’ve done, don’t immediately say you also did this and that, no matter how much you remember, wait for another time to voice your concerns, 1 concern at a time.
Make sure you both cum every time you make love, do not be shy or embarrassed to communicate your sexual needs openly so that you can both be satisfied.
Protect each other from outside forces and pressures, whether be it money, people, status, fashion etc.

#DoingMarriageTheGodWay

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