Names: Rev. Thabo and Winnie Mogotsi
Married since: 22 November 2003
Pet names: Baby Girl and My Love
Kids: Rorisang (10 years) and Thoriso (3 years)
How did you meet?
Through IAG youth Camps
Was it love at first sight?
No, We were just friends and don’t even think any of us knew that we would end up being husband and wife.
What attracted you to each other?
I am not sure because we were never attracted to each other. We just dated for 6 months after being friends, then got engaged.
Why did you get married?
So we knew each other for about 3 years. In 2002 June we started doing some odd dates for Lunch and breakfasts when I was around Pretoria and he was based in Soweto and I was in Rustenburg. In September I received a prophesy that I will get engaged in December or January. Then in January 2020 he popped the question then I accepted because it was a confirmation that he is the man I need to be with. To be honest I do not think I was yet in love with him.
How did he propose?
He drove with my brother to Rustenburg on that Saturday and took me out and just told me that he would like for me to spend the rest of my life with him. It was nothing extraordinary but being a simple girl, I just knew he was the one and I accepted. Then the Monday he went to deliver a letter to my family that his family is coming to ask for the bride. So it took 3 months after he popped the question and they paid lobola then we had our wedding celebration the same year in November.
What has marriage taught you?
We have both learned to be patient with each other and to appreciate each other more with the flaws me might have.
What do you love most about being married?
The great memories that we are building with each other and knowing that there is someone there for you through good and hard times.
What are some of the challenges you’ve faced in your marriage and how did you overcome them?
When my husband lost his job and he was out of work for almost 4 months. We stuck together and we trusted in God for provision and we supported each other and worked together as a team in making difficult decisions. This really brought us even closer when we started understanding that it is just the two of us and God being the leader, we can make it.
What do you mostly fight about?
We do not normally fight but have differences and we do not consider them to be fights.
What irritates you about each other?
We have grown out of the irritation stage but we have learned the art of dealing with the irritations.
How do you keep love alive?
We have date nights; we take holidays without the kids and we pamper each other on birthdays and make sure we celebrate important dates.
What do you do for fun together?
Braai, date nights and woodwork
What do you think marriage is?
Two different people from two different worlds coming together to make an everlasting impact that brings joy, happiness and satisfaction.
What makes marriage work?
Not being selfish but being willing to go an extra mile for the other person. Lots and lots of communication.
What makes it fail?
Selfishness and always wanting to be right.
Lack of communication
What do you think is the reason for people to not believe in the institution of marriage?
It might be the bad experiences that they have been through, possibly growing up.
Do you think pre-marital counselling is important, why?
Yes, it is. If it is done by people who are honest. It does not give you all the answers to your questions but at least it prepares you for marriage.
Why do you think there is such a high rate of divorce?
Selfishness and high expectations
What measures can be taken to break the high rate of divorce?
Only people can do that, no one can change the way people think and do things, but we can encourage and advise. Putting things to practice it can only be done when people are willing to do so.
What do you think are the roles of husbands and wives in marriage?
The Role for both is to build a healthy environment for themselves and for the kids that they are raising. When God put two people together, it is to be able to fulfil his mission in the work of Christ through their Union.
What do you think is the significance of lobola?
Not sure but I still think it should be a gift to the ladies’ family and not a fee charged.
Would you advice people to do prenup, in community of property or out of community of property and why?
I think this should be an informed decision among the two people. People should go do research and make sure they understand what they are signing for.
What advice do you have for people intending to get married?
Make sure that your decision is not based on just wanting to get married. You should also ask yourself what is it that I am bringing into the marriage and not what am I going to get out of the marriage. One should get married only when they are ready to invest everything they are capable of investing in their marriage. If you go in with the thinking that if it doesn’t work you will divorce just don’t do it.