Name: Lucy and Bheki Mokoena
Married: 30August 2002
Pet Names: Love and Papa
Scripture foundation: Songs of Solomon 4:10
How did you meet?
We met at church, Im a PK
Was it love at first sight?
What attracted you to each other?
The way she was committed at church and her beauty
He was a loving person and made me feel comfortable
Why did you get married?
Because we were so in love and wanted to build a family together
How did he propose?
He invited me to his uncle’s wedding in Bloemfontein and proposed there and told me he wants to send his uncles for lobola negotiations.
How has marriage changed you?
Bheki – i started associating with people who are married and focused on building our future together
Lucy – to be more selfless and be a good mother and wife
What has marriage taught you?
To put God first
That love conquers all
Communication and not to bottle things up
What do you love most about being married?
Relying on each other
Focus on building our future
What are some of the challenges you’ve faced in your marriage and how did you overcome them?
Finances, we overcome by drafting a monthly budget.
Jealousy and insecurities, we overcome by communicating with each other.
Above all prayer is the key, the best cure is when you are on your knees.
What do you mostly fight about?
We rarely fight but mostly it is just petty things and we don’t go to bed without solving the problem
What irritates you about each other?
When she’s shouting at me
When he does things without talking to me first
How do you keep love alive?
By expressing how much we love each other and by complimenting each other
What do you do for fun together?
Play games, cook, jog and go out
What do you think marriage is?
It is a lifetime commitment that needs to be nourished in order to keep it healthy
It is a covenant between man and God
What do you think makes a marriage work?
Communication, love, respect and forgiving each other because no one is perfect
What makes it fail?
Lack of communication
Lack of trust
Lack of submission
What do you think is the reason for people to not believe in the institution of marriage?
The high rate of divorce
Do you think pre-marital counselling is important and why?
Yes because it prepares you to get to know the person you are about to commit to
Why do you think there is such a high rate of divorce?
Lack of commitment
Getting married for status
Doing things for show and impressing people
Getting married in order to get out of your parent’s house
Getting married because you feel like you’re running out of time.
What measures can be take to break the rate of divorce?
Dont rush things and be honest with yourself.
What do you think are the roles of husbands and wives in marriage?
Roles of husband: provider, protector, lover
Roles of wife: supporter, submissive, lover and prayerful
Would you advice people to do prenup, in community of property or out of community of property and why?
In community of property, we believe the word of God in Genesis 2:22-24 God joined man and woman and He said ” they shall become one flesh”
Any other thing creates a division or selfishness.
What do you think is the significance of lobola?
Lobola is a means of establishing a link between the two families.
What advice do you have for people intending to get married?
Be sure of yourself and be ready to submit and love one person, be ready to sacrifice some things