Marriage Mondays
#MarriageMondays – Lehlohonolo and Refiloe Mathebula
Names: Lehlohonolo Mathebula and Refiloe Mathebula
Married since: 25 October 2014
Pet names: Love and Baby
Kids: 1 son
Scripture foundation: Ruth 1vs15-16 and 1 Corinthians 14vs4-8
How did you meet?
We met through Refiloe’s best friend. I worked for an organization called love life as a life skills facilitator. Zinhle Ngobeni who is the best friend and now also our family friend, was one of my participants during that time. Zinhle invited Refiloe to one of our sessions and we got introduced. She returned the following day and became an official member. We would walk together after our sessions, then on this particular day, Zinhle didn’t come to the session, I used that opportunity to tell Refiloe how i felt about her.
Was it love at first sight?
With me it wasn’t, with her it was.
What attracted you to each other?
Her: He is handsome however i also loved his humility, calmness and cleanliness. Also he went out of his way to express his love for me and to this day, that hasn’t changed.
Him: I loved that she has a relationship with God, combine that with the fact that she’s reliable, honest and caring, a winner.
Why did you get married?
For companionship and the fulfillment of God’s will for our lives. Also we want to advocate for family values and we believe that marriage is a good platform for that.
How did he propose?
During my sister’s birthday celebration, he took me by surprise. He had it all planned behind my back with my sister. During the program, he stood up and went to the front, knelt down on one knee and popped the question.
How has marriage changed you?
We are more considerate, patient and united. We do everything together and we spend less time with friends.
What has marriage taught you?
That self discovery is a journey not a destination. We are constantly evolving and growing.
What do you love most about being married?
Having a partner to do this thing called life with.
What are some of the challenges you’ve faced in your marriage and how did you overcome them?
Dealing with our in-laws. We overcame this by communication between ourselves and our families. Also through prayer because some battles are more spiritual than they are physical.
What do you mostly fight about?
Hubby has a tendency of forgetting his phone then I struggle to get hold of him all day.
What irritates you about each other?
Whenever one raises their voice at another
How do you keep love alive?
We travel a lot and that gives us an opportunity to make love in different places; we try to avoid familiarity in our marriage
What do you do for fun together?
We clean together, we wash the car together, we go shopping together, we play with the baby together. We meet up with other couples, we dance our butts off at weddings, we watch movies in the house and we go on vacations.
What do you think is the reason for people to not believe in the institution of marriage?
The high rate of divorce, infidelity, the thought of being someone’s possession, submitting to oppression, instability, not receiving what you give, the possibility and baggage that comes with divorce, fear of commitment, enduring things our parents had to.
What advice do you have for people intending to get married?
Don’t compare yourselves to other people. Love like you’ve never been hurt
Love the way you want to be loved. Allow the other person to be themselves. Communicate. Be best friends.
Compliment each other. Listen to each other. Don’t be revengeful. Ensure you both always reach an orgasm when you make love and don’t be shy to communicate your sexual needs. Protect each other from external forces.
Put God first – He is the author of marriage
