Marriage Mondays
#MarriageMondays – Kgopotso & Velaphi Mabuza
Names: Kgopotso and Velaphi Mabuza
Pet Names: Motho waka, babes, baby, Honey, Love
Kids:1
Scripture foundation: Psalms 127:1
Where did you meet?
Hulamin Extrusions canteen
Was it love at first sight?
No, not love at first sight.
What attracted you to each other?
He kept his word, he never stood me up and did whatever he promised, we had the desire to spend time together always.
Why did you get married?
We both had a desire to build a family and we loved each other
How did he propose?
He did not propose he came to my hometown in Attredgeville, I was at the salon and he said “I want to put 32 days notice I am marrying you”
How has marriage changed you?
There are things that are changed and others are not changed. He still let me pursue my passion and purpose, what has changed is I am more considerate and caring
What has marriage taught you?
Marriage is a contractual relationship like employment and business; you have to perform to make it work. Its unlike a mom and child relationship no one teaches you and we don’t celebrate anniversaries for being a mom it’s natural , but in marriage when you reach 10 years we applaud you for your good work.So it taught me its continuous work
What do you love most about being married?
Being out of the dating game, it’s not for the faint-hearted.
What are some of the challenges you’ve faced in marriage and how did you overcome them?
Beginning of our relationship was quite tough, tongues were wagging. My husband was a packer and I was in finance, negative opinions from all over were raised including my family. The one comment I remember was that I was a fool to date someone who was beneath me but today I wish I could call that person and say look at us. How I overcame that was that I never looked at the surface I looked at the person inside and the vision he had about us. In 2018, we lost two pregnancies which we both did not take well, we prayed about it and consulted with a psychologist.
What do you mostly fight about?
We actually used to have a problem of having a final say/proving a point this was resolved by the assistance of a psychologist
What irritates you about each other?
He likes to pick food in my plate, he gets irritated when I release gas 🙈
How do you keep love alive?
My hubby is a comedian, Passionate intimacy and reminiscing about the past.
What do you do for fun together?
Travelling
What do you think is the reason for people to not believe in the institution of marriage?
When I was growing up I never wanted to get married I never desired it I felt it was a life of limitation because it was something I did not see at home and around the township. I was really against it there was a phrase in the township that said “Nyala onyele, tlhala o thlalefe” (get married and shit will happen divorce and be wise) and even a section called Tlhala mpya (divorce the dog). The perception was really negative toward marriage. My mind started changing when I was at church. My friend Refilwe would sit with the parents; it would be her and the sister in the middle with the mother and father then I said to myself I want that
What is your message for people intending to get married?
I bought a picture in my house that reads “Do more of what makes you happy”. Marriage is tailor made, it’s not a blanket approach, do you……
