Marriage Mondays
#MarriageMondays – Jeff and Phumuria
Names: Phumuria & Jeff Osei-Tutu
Married since: 2013
Pet names: Honey/I call him by his name nana
Kids: 2
Scripture foundation: Amos 3:3
How did you meet?
At church, he came from Ghana and decided to come check things at church and I was there for rehearsal
Was it love at first sight?
For him it seemed so, but on my side it wasn’t
What attracted you to each other?
Me being me is what attracted Jeff to me. On my side, I admired how different he was and how it seemed as though nothing else mattered when I was with him.
Why did you get married?
We got married because it felt right and also we were ready and being Christians it’s really one thing we wanted to do to honor God too since we wanted to be together forever, what better way to do so than in God’s covenant
How did he propose?
He asked me when my family was available for him to come see them.
How has marriage changed you?
It really hasn’t changed me much but with marriage comes responsibility, it’s no longer about just me and just him and it really pushes and also calls for a certain level of maturity and humbleness. If you were a person that couldn’t say sorry before, once married it changes because I learned that you can save not only your marriage but a lot of stuff with that one word
What has marriage taught you?
Compromise and thinking about another person first before doing stuff and most of all I’d say patience
What do you love most about being married?
Being able to spend time and making memories in this journey of life with a friend and loved one who gets you for who you are and accepts your craziness as it is. Plus isn’t it lovely to have someone there for you no matter what?
What are some of the challenges you have faced in your marriage and how did you overcome them?
Coming from 2 totally different countries comes with its own struggles because everyone thinks things should be done how they would normally be done in their culture. Some things done in my culture are a taboo in his and vice-versa, so we had to let go of both and start our own thing taking the good from both cultures.
What do you do mostly fight about?
Me not wanting to go out as much with him and him not wanting to stay at one place for long
What irritates you about each other?
Him starting a statement and then deciding that whatever he was about to say is OK so he says it’s OK let’s leave it🙄, then me not asking questions directly but rather asking if there is something he’d like to tell me about
How do you keep the love alive?
Never taking each other for granted or getting too comfortable so much that you think your effort is no longer required, I think the fact that we still put in the same effort we have been putting even before marriage. He still buys me flowers every other day because he knows I love those, it’s the smallest things that melts my heart. And always thinking about why you fell in love in the first place puts things in perspective too
What do you do for fun together?
We travel a lot, then he watches me taking risks with extreme sports because he doesn’t like it but he will be there waiting for me to finish. Then we have dates a couple of times a month just to sit, eat and talk.
What do you think is the reason people no longer believe in the institution of marriage?
We are products of what we constantly hear and right now the world is preaching that being alone is better than being with someone let alone being married. Another thing is that those in the institution makes it look like it’s something you endure and not enjoy therefore painting a bad picture of what marriage is
What’s your advice to people who are intending to get married?
Do it for the right reasons and you will never have to endure a day in your marriage. Do not get married because you too want fancy pictures and a beautiful wedding day, the real work starts the day after and it would be of great interest to you if you were stuck with someone you love and not someone you just tolerate for the sake of impressing other people.
