Marriage Mondays
#MarriageMondays – Ruth and Mxolisi Nojozi
Names: Ruth and Mxolisi Nojozi
Married since: 12 October 2013
Pet names: Pretty face, mingxiza and Bubba
Kids: 1, Zukhanye Nojozi
Scripture foundation: Colossians 2: 6-7 So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.
How did you meet?
At a mutual friend’s braai
Was it love at first sight?
Nah, it was love at first conversation
What attracted you to each other?
Her way of thinking and her toes. She had a gentle spirit in the manner in which she carried herself.
He was a perfect gentleman with a good head on his shoulders.
Why did you get married?
We truly cannot picture life without each other.
Because I hated saying goodbye to him.
How did he propose?
I told her that she aint getting any younger, just kidding. We both love animals and it was fitting that it was next to elephants cheering us on.
How has marriage changed you?
It taught us to place the needs of someone else before our own. To make rational and informed decisions that are not coming from
just a place of emotions.
What has marriage taught you?
3+2= 5, 4+1=5, 5÷1= 5, there are many ways to get to five and your way isnt the only correct way. What matters is getting to five.
Learn to appreciate that two capable minds equals one great and fertilized idea. It also taught us a whole lot about conflict resolution through effective communication.
What do you love most about being married?
Watching my spouse flourish and become everything God created them to be.
Do you have specific roles designated to each other?
We generally work as a team. There are those odd tasks that are not communicated which are gender specific and we just fit ourselves right into them. We play to our strengths but assisting each other in the process.
What do you think are the roles of husbands and wives in marriage?
To lovingly submit to Christ and to one another.
Do you believe in love languages? If so, what are yours and does your partner communicate them well?
Just feed her and she will be good
What is the most romantic thing you’ve done for your spouse?
Because we subscribe to LOVE being a doing word, an action word; we are constantly working to out do the last big thing you do for each other. In essence, all that we do for each other is romantic.
How important do you think it is for couples to have a strong friendship and share common interests? What are some of the interests you share with your spouse?
Its extremely important that friendship be at the core with other variants in your marriage as the Covid Lockdown a few years back taught us that couples couldnt cope being with each other as there was no escape but to engage one another. Thus we feel friendship is imperative in marriage. Our love for ministry, adventure and for the wild are some of the interests that come to mind.
How do you balance marriage, work and raising children, if any?
Through Jesus Christ. By meditating on the word day and night and observing to do everything written in it so that our ways are prosperous and we have GOOD SUCCESS. Good success for us means succeeding in all spheres of life. We are joint by a cause beyond ourselves and that cause is Jesus.
What does wives submit to your husbands mean to you?
It means letting go of your right to be right. Yielding in obedience even when you don’t completely agree but respectfully communicating your concerns.
What does husbands love your wives mean to you?
Modeling your love for her after Christ by washing her with Word so at to present her without spot or blemish.
What does parents train up a child in a way they should go mean to you?
It means making them taste and see that the Lord is good so that if they ever had to depart from Him or taste other foreign meals (gods), they would come right back as there is nothing greater than Jesus.
What are some of the challenges you’ve faced in your marriage and how did you overcome them?
Learning how to effectively communicate was a struggle at the beginning of our marriage. And we overcame it by submitting to one another and relinquishing our right to be right.
What do you mostly fight about?
We don’t fight, as we have learnt how to communicate.
What irritates you about each other?
Clothes on the floor. Belts that don’t get picked up. Hair on the floor.
How do you keep love alive?
Random acts of kindness. Praying for one another.
What do you do for fun together?
We go away as much as we can. We love the wild, so we make any excuse to go the bush.
What do you think marriage is?
Its Gods model for replicating His kingdom on earth.
What makes a marriage work?
God and people who are determined to not escape.
What makes it fail?
Yielding to the idea that it can’t be resolved. There is no problem under the sun that has no solution.
What do you think is the reason for people to not believe in the institution of marriage?
Bad examples before them have a direct bearing on why an individual would not want the institution. Particularly the ones who you have looked up to all your life ending up divorcing.
Do you think pre-marital counselling is important, why?
Yes it is as it gives a guide into the institution so that you are well equipped to navigate all that arises from it.
Why do you think there is such a high rate of divorce?
Again its people who believe there is no resolve for their issues
What measures can be taken to break the high rate of divorce?
A sincere surrender to the Author of the institution; Jesus Christ. By also surrounding yourselves with individuals who entrench themselves through the way of the word of God.
What do you think is the significance of lobola?
I believe its a bridal price that shows appreciation to your family in grace for your wife. I also believe it to personally be the first step to testing your resolve as a man. Are you able to commit to the first assignment that a man was given, which is to tend to the garden of Eden? Work hard for the things you want.
Would you advice people to do prenup, in community of property or out of community of property and why?
We always advise people to do Out Of Community with accrual. Meaning whatever we got as a couple, we split down the middle in the event of divorce. We have an understanding that people dont marry thinking of divorce but it does happen. It also protects your assets in the event that one partner is in business so that the estate is not affected.
Is it advisable for couples to live together before marriage, why or why not?
It is not advisable as the Bible does not approve it and if God says NO than we agree with Him.
How long do you think couples should date before getting married and in your opinion, is there a way to date or each to their own?
Date as long as needed. Provoke the truth out of each other by asking and having difficult conversations. See whether the prospect meets what you need in a partner spiritually, mentally and physically.
What do you think is the secret to the longevity of your marriage?
Growing together in God. The model for the God-ordained institution is abiding by His Word.
Whose marriage do you look up to and why?
Ours, its the only of its kind. But we do learn what we need to subscribe to with every marriage. If you observe people well, there is always something to learn, even in what society would deem as bad marriages
What advice do you have for people intending to get married?
Its a one way street, so carefully count the cost before you go in. Remember there are others on the road, you are not alone.