Marriage Mondays
#MarriageMondays – Mbuso and Morma Masilela
Names: Mbuso and Morma Masilela
Married since: December 2020
Pet names: Mbu, Mo, Mbu
Kids: 0
Scripture foundation: Matthew 6:33
How did you meet?
We met at Irene mall in Centurion
Was it love at first sight?
Nope it was love after a lot of dates
What attracted you to each other?
Mbuso: The way she spoke Zulu;
Morma: His sense of humour and unconditional love.
Why did you get married?
We loved each other and we were ready to officialize our partnership.
How did he propose?
He sent his uncles to my parents’ house to ask for my hand in marriage
How has marriage changed you?
To be selfless and to continue strengthening our partnership.
What has marriage taught you?
Patience, perseverance, better communication.
What do you love most about being married?
There’s a lot of things we LOVE about being married i.e. sharing hopes, dreams, challenges, memes, and experiences with each other;
Trying new things together, growing new interests and safety in one another.
Do you have specific roles designated to each other?
Not really! We are a versatile team.
What do you think are the roles of husbands and wives in marriage?
Agreeing on and fulfilling roles and responsibilities, and making decisions for your family should be a joint process characterized by mutual respect and submission. Ephesians 5:21-33 provides some very important insights into God’s design for husbands and wives.
Do you believe in love languages? If so, what are yours and does your partner communicate them well?
Not really. Knowing your partner’s language isn’t enough. Perhaps the best approach is to communicate what you like, dislike and areas of your relationship that you would like to improve on.
What is the most romantic thing you’ve done for your spouse?
Mo: My husband has done many romantic things for me including creating a love song playlist just for us to dance to in our home; washing the dishes . But probably the most romantic thing he has ever done is the day he asked me to be his wife and life partner.
Mbu: I booked a surprise safari honeymoon in Limpopo.
How important do you think it is for couples to have a strong friendship and share common interests? What are some of the interests you share with your spouse?
Friendship is at the core of any strong relationship. We share the following interests: we like the same music genre; we enjoy travelling together and trying out different cuisines and activities And we LOVE taking naps on Sunday afternoons.
How do you balance marriage and work and raising children, if any?
We make intentional time for each other by having weekly date nights, and going for a walk together in the evenings.
What does wives submit to your husbands mean to you?
It is NOT the suppression of the wives’ own thoughts, desires, or opinions. Instead, it is a mutual submission between a husbands and wives, where both partners seek to honour and serve one another. This includes mutual respect and communication in order to have a common understanding.
What does husbands love your wives mean to you?
It means husbands should love their wives unconditionally, and respect and cherish them. This goes both ways, though!
What are some of the challenges you’ve faced in your marriage and how did you overcome them?
Learning to live with each other after getting married. We overcame this challenge through communication and setting boundaries.
What do you mostly fight about?
Petty things that we had to resolve through communication.
What irritates you about each other?
Mo: Not keeping to time at times;
Mbu: She cooks less food
How do you keep love alive?
Spending quality time together, going on dates and vacations.
What do you do for fun together?
Same as above
What do you think marriage is?
Marriage is a beautiful union between two people journeying through adult life as partners.
What makes a marriage work?
There is no manual for marriage. So among other things, we think the following is important:
● Strong communication
● The ability to manage conflict constructively
● Shared experiences and values
● High levels of warmth and affection
● Friendship
● A willingness to continue to grow with and learn from each other
What makes it fail?
Lol we don’t know.
What do you think is the reason for people to not believe in the institution of marriage?
Choosing to believe and not to believe in marriage is a personal choice, shaped by individual experiences, values, and aspirations.
Do you think pre-marital counselling is important, why?
Super important. The benefits of pre-marital counseling are not just for the short time surrounding the wedding celebration, but for years to come throughout the marriage as well. Through it, we were able to discuss values for our marriage, expectations and we got tips on the best way to communicate effectively. It was a good start for us and we are continuously pouring into our cup and building a strong and healthy partnership.
Why do you think there is such a high rate of divorce?
We don’t know because people divorce for different reasons.
What measures can be taken to break the high rate of divorce?
We don’t know.
What do you think is the significance of lobola?
To initiate and build a relationship between two families.
Would you advice people to do prenup, in community of property or out of community of property and why?
Different strokes for different folks.
Is it advisable for couples to live together before marriage, why or why not?
Personal choice. We moved in together after marriage.
How long do you think couples should date before getting married and in your opinion, is there a way to date or each to their own?
Each to their own there’s no manual to this, if it feels right go for it.
What do you think is the secret to the longevity of your marriage?
Effective communication and mutual respect.
Whose marriage do you look up to and why?
No one. Couples pave their marriages based on their aspirations, dreams and goals.
What advice do you have for people intending to get married?
Do your own thing, there’s no manual.